Finding Your Organization's Authentic Voice

 

Right now we are wrapping up a brand strategy project. As part of the research, we did a competitive audit, comparing competitors’ websites to our client’s.

Can you tell these apart?

Here’s some samples of copy we found on competitors’ home pages:

Agency A

As one of the nation’s largest uniformed guard service providers, we attribute our success to continually investing in security program design and support, offering above-average security officer wages, providing superior background screening, training and supervision, and the most responsive customer service in the industry.

Agency B

Our customers tell us that it’s our quality-based, results-oriented approach that continues to set Agency B apart from the competition. What’s at the core of our success? It’s a blend of quality people, industry-leading training, and dedication to customer service–all of which are supported and facilitated by state-of-the-art technology, as well as a national and local management presence.

Agency C

The experienced security professionals at Agency C know that your peace of mind is priceless. Our hands-on approach and attention to detail is second to none. Since we are locally based, we are able to provide the personalized service our clients have come to expect.

 

The problem

 Can you tell them apart? I can’t. But not only are they saying similar things — but they are saying these things in the same way, the same voice. 
The voice that you hear when you read these excerpts are bureaucratic, stilted and detached. They don’t sound like a real person is writing to you.

Finding your voice

 Branding is how your audience feels about you — so if your communications sound like these samples, you are missing an opportunity to connect with your audience. And if what you have to say is like everyone else in your sector, your audience won’t remember who you are.

The rewrite

 We’ve rewritten one of the samples with an authentic voice:
Protection and peace of mind. That’s what you get when you partner with Agency C. Local, empowered management delivers the personal service you need, when you need it—courtesy of our 24-hour call center. Find out why we have a client retention rate that exceeds 95%. (Hint: It starts with our screening and selection systems, which surpass state requirements.)
Better? I think so.

The Authentic Voice is:

  • Motivating and passionate
  • Personal — engages the reader directly
  • Is about the audience

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FACT OF THE MONTH

Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous 45 second shower scene in Alfred